weblog
2008-02-19
here's another shot out to the nature lovers!
michael crichton 'environmentalism as religion'
Michael Crichton "environmentalism as a religion"
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Disclaimer: Opinions
expressed here may not be in agreement with those of Healing Tao USA
Inc. and it's representatives. The above parties are not responsible in
any manner whatsoever for any injury or health condition that may occur
through following the opinions expressed here. Consult with your
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2008-01-10
another singles personal - i outdid myself
We all have a decision to make. Either we belong on Planet Earth or this is not our real home. We celebrate the fact that the human body got here through the mingling of opposites or we spurn our body for some spiritual netherland out yonder.
Try as I might, the pull towards celebration of this body always wins. Stillness is great. And all sensation and motion can only be succulent when you "fast" from movement and sensation... the first steak dinner is nice... but try eating them 7 days in a row.
So the interplay of male and female. black and white. but most importantly silence and sound... but then we have an issue. The sounds of a woman in ecstasy herald the oncoming of New Life. This is not a random sound. This is the sound of Potential New Creation.
How close are we to the big bang when a female releases those delightful peals of ecstasy upon you? I would wager we are right there, my friend.
For all 16 billion years of human kinds frolic through the living cosmos, there has been but one means to propagate this human race... in its Race Away from God or its Race to Evolve Back to God or whatever you want to call it. And so the coitus is a sacred act, but an act of the highest order as well. Direct experience of the initial explosion? Inquiring minds want to know!
Unfortunately, steadiness is a concept but reality keeps changing... i couldnt look at my hand now and again in 5 seconds and really be looking at the same thing... and thus we come to NOW where I am getting great results from the flotation tank.
personally, if I could re-experience the labyrinth walk at the unity church, I would be most happy.
And I close with words from Samael Aun Weor - "ask yourself before marrying, would you give your last drop of blood for the beloved?" -- Kunte Kinte did, it seemed like just a simple name change. And these days, well, we are all whipped along and forced to fixate on survival instead of justice and ethics... but if awareness is all there is and now is the only thing that is real, then by the time you make an ethical decision, now is gone and really doesnt matter... but that path never felt right to me... I could go on for days and days with discussions that engrave as deep as x-rays - to bite from Rakim.
i HAVE LOTS MORE to say... so lets talk? or go to the funny bone and watch some great comedians!
2008-01-04
vehicles on highway
earlier part on a mall-like street forgotten.
Next part: I'm driving up a highway when a car comes down the highway the wrong way towards me. It doesnt hit me, so I keep going. Then an 18-wheeler is travelling towards me ... it is going backwards rapidly away from something. I am heedless. A car in reverse falls off road to the right. Then another comes directly in my path. I veer to the right, determined to get over the hill and see what is happening. There is a huge calamity at the bottom of a very steep hill, but I cant make out what it is.
To my left in the median, there are 18-wheelers all jacknifed and wrecked. So I'm now rolling slowly down the hill looking at the trucks when I hear a number of people frantically screaming "fire!" ... "fire!"
It's about this time that I wake up. But there are these colored things making circles. Something like a kaleidoscope. Oh and then a few Falun.
And now I'm wondering when I see what is there instead of seeing a mental projection. That was just a dream, but a powerful one.
And I recall how my early Self-Clearing work did the same thing. And I think about going back to that.
My interpretation: dont rush things.
2008-01-01
the best singles personal I ever wrote
Hello, one could say that going beyond the body is achievable in a number of ways. Further, timelessness, limitless space, naturalness, and silence such as the height of orgasm offers can be had in a number of ways.
However, achievement has direction. And is a yardstick for failure or success. Directionless compassion is deeply preferred.
I have many pictures and a long spiritual resume which is nothing but the history of confused following of others.
Now is the time for rebirth as my self.
Won't you join me?
It's all good!!!!!
For years, I have agonized over the "mistreatment" of plants and animals. But now suddenly I see it. A rock would be stuck where it is in consciousness for 10,000 years if man did not come along and smash it to bits.
Men must thrust their penis into the most beautiful, vivacious alive female there is... for it is out goal to evolve the human race, raise the baseline! Eliminate handicaps!
Peace of mind achieved by dulling the senses is amputating yourself from LIFE ITSELF!
Drink it in ! Merge with thee !
Happy new year god-dammit!
2007-12-31
a tally of the spiritual systems I have wavered towards in the last 72 hrs
So, I'm doing this falun dafa. and it is great. it is clearing a tremendous amount of shit out of me.
yesterday, as I was doing tranquil meditation, I began to think of Reverend Nazirmoreh and thought I should go join them. Seconds later, I persisted in the tranquility and hit pleasure unspeakable.
Today as my focus deepened, I began to think, "you know, all I really want is peace of mind. I think I will quit this and go do Zen" and again I persisted in meditation and I cannot even speak of the revelations that occurred.
And just now, I went in for another session of the 5th exercise and am thinking. Reichian Therapy. That's for me. Constructive use of sex energy.
And oh yeah, regrets about not sticking with Charles Berner's natural yoga.
And I miss Sharyn Yulish and her Sunday satsangs. That was a great lady... Inner Light and Sound Tradition.
2007-12-30
about tranquil cultivation
I realized that I really dont deserve tranquil cultivation... what right do I have to the unmatched bliss of stillness (hmm, sex comes pretty close, what am I talking about? oh yeah, you have to have skillz to get the ladies, I can get the bliss and still be the nerd that I am), when I have caused Hell for others?
when you attempt to enter tranquility, then you will get it when you deserve it... and dont forget you are supposed to be 100% alert, not drifting off into lalaland.
2007-12-26
So you want to see George Bush suffer???
Let's weave a fiction story. Aliens from outer space decide that Planet Earth can no longer behave and an Intergalactic Court assumes control of Planet Earth for the Good of the Earthlings and the Universe as a Whole.
Without a doubt, these aliens find George Bush guilty of heinous crimes and he is submitted to public torture placing his body in more pain than one can imagine.
Now, what wells up within you? Why, a sense of vengeance? A sense of "you got what you deserved"? you mean to say: YOU DID WRONG TO OTHERS AND NOW YOU DESERVE TO GET IT BACK.
Well, if the rule applies to ol' GW, then guess what:
It applies to you too my friend
Every arrogant thing you ever said
Every hateful thing you ever thought
Every person you ever beat up
Every law you ever broke
Every time you hurt someone else
You have quite a debt yourself dont you?
And many people are bitterly waiting for you to get your ass toasted in much the same way as you burn for the punishment of ol' GW.
Rejoice at your suffering!
You deserve every bit of pain in your body - it has to do with former wrongdoing. Go ahead and eat shit now... shovel it on by the boatload. Get it over with and dont ever fall back into such foolishness again.
LUST
Now we get to one thing listed as wrongdong - LUST. Now the thing about lust is that it is not wrong in the sense of hurting the other person because they may lust for you. But let's peer down into the blackest of black hearts and see what we see there --- that's right delectable adultery. No sexual act has the fire, intrigue, suspense, thrill and adventure of one you know you shouldnt be doing. Heights of pleasure and ecstasy. Pleasure you should not be having. Pleasure that everyone says is wrong is coursing through your body. Heart thudding, adrenaline flowing, hips undulating in ever-increasing frenzy...
Is there any higher judge than pleasure itself??? Is there? Is there? Who makes the laws?
Ok, I think I get it.
I cant say whether lust is right or wrong, but I can look back on just _this_ life (forget about former lives) and I *know* that I have not atoned for my mistreatment of others.
So, you can shove that under the carpet and go seek consensual pleasure, but I BELIEVE I need to pay off my debts. I deserve to have my jaw broken and tossed in a gutter for some of my unlawful acts - not illegal but violations of THE LAW - *THE* LAW that you you know resounds in your truest of hearts.
Rectify the cosmos. Rectify the cosmos. Rectify the cosmos.
Leave the Animal Lampoon Flesh Feast act for later.
2007-12-23
Hey, this idea of paying for past wrongdoing via pain is starting to make sense
I dont like pain. Some people master their senses and view pain and pleasure as two things to be handled by sensory mastery.
I'm a little different... a little less robotic... sure I care for my body. It should feel good. And I should be here in this body.
I'm not taking the "oh I'm not this body. I'm pure consciousness approach" -- nope. I have to handle this body with responsibility.
And, as part of my prized diet, The Warrior Diet, I had my night cooked meat meal... the Admiral's Feast at Red Lobster... flounder, scallops, clam strips, shrimp, tasty sauce. And afterwards, I felt nausea and wanted a Sprite. And then another one.
And now, 6 hours later, I awake to a stomach of pain... and sense of nausea.
This is all after having absolutely no urge to eat late at night in the first place. But I did it... partly to be sociable and partly because I dont dig the starving to death thing.
But in Falun Dafa, my spiritual practice, our Master makes no bones about this path being nothing but learning to endure greater and greater hardship and pain, both physical and social. But the great thing about it is: any pain you receive is a sign of karma being burned off!!! So it's not just pain, it's a sign of IMPROVEMENT.
So this nausea this morning was an obvious attempt by my physical body to improve my situation, yet it would hurt. And yes it would be disgusting to awake face-down in my own vomit, but you know what? You have to pay and the sooner you pay the better.
So, now, it's time to get upstairs and do my Falun practice and suffer some PAIN and make some god-damned GAIN!!!!
Over and out space fans.
2007-12-18
Back and side: from intense pain to normalcy
Four days ago I began to experience severe pains in my upper left back
and my lower rear intestinal area. Anytime I wanted to lay down or sit
down for my Falun Dafa practice, I had to deal with pain.
I have a history of problems with that part of my back and arm. But of
course it is not without reason. I have been in fights with that
arm. I have done other things too embarrassing to mention with that
arm. And Zhuan Falun speaks similarly:
"So, usually when people have tribulations or bad things happen,
for example, they're paying for their karma by karmic retribution."
Almost immediately, there were some brief periods of despair. I began
to think: "why did I ever get involved in Falun Gong? Now I am stuck
with an aching back. I can't even bend over to put on my clothes."
But I have read Zhuan Falun enough times that I was ready to put Dafa
to the test. I kept doing all my daily practice right through the pain
- 3 periods of SFRT and the daily exercises. Zhuan Falun prepares the
practitioner for trials. Master Li states:
"The height you can cultivate to depends
entirely on your ability to endure and your ability to bear
hardships."
Interestingly, the initial problems went away, but then another
surfaced. It seemed like the vertebra in my upper spine had become too
lose and prone to breaking or pain. I again got worried, but at the
same time, I knew that any change of the physical body was
possible. If experiments in Taiwan and China have demonstrated the
ability to change the half-life of an element:
http://fgmtv.org/videos1/Languages/Swedish/2006/infinite_cosmos_eng.wmv
then fixing a back issue is again not a big deal.
So, again, I just kept plowing through the pain with regular practice
and study. And now, I'm sitting here. And it's almost hard to believe
there ever was pain! There is no sign of it. I almost feel like I was
making the pain up --- dreaming it or something.
Actually, this was not a hard trial for me to withstand. Thanks to
Falun Gong, I was already a different person. I felt like I had
cleared all sorts of slime out of my body that I had carried for
years. Not only that, but I have read of other practitioners who
developed severe illnesses purely out of the blue and came through
them with no medical attention and felt crystal clear afterwards.
Hey, I'm still alive!
I've been awake for 8 hours now and only had one spoonful of Kimchee! I'm not dead!!! Sure my lust for taste has not been kindly treated, but oh well.
one spoonful
I realized that eating is a form of self-interest and did not eat all morning. I got to work around 12:30 and had _one_ spoonful of Sunja's Kimchee. I felt fatigue make its way over my body ... now 2 hours later it is finally starting to wear off.
2007-12-17
I am still thawing out
It's only 15 degrees here in Columbus, OH. But this is _bad_. Bad. BAD!
My head feels funny. My body is like an ice block.
2007-12-16
one lifetime explosions - spiritual impact from one to the many
- L. Ron Hubbard - from nothing founded the Church of Scientology. In his lifetime, it grew to a membership of well over 1 million
- Mary Baker Eddy - formed Christian Science after healing herself of a terminal illness. Now an international organization in its 3rd generation
- Master Li Hongzhi - a cultivator since birth, he is the first person in our human history to go public with ancient Buddha School cultivation practice. Current international disciples number 100 million.
- Jesus Christ - well, you know how popular Christianity is
- Islam - Muhummad, and the rest is history.
- The Honorable Elijah Muhammad. Formed a nation whose religion is Islam. This offshoot of traditional Islam has devotees well into the millions.
- Science of Mind - Ernest Holmes wrote this book and now there are many independant churches following his teaching. There appears to be no central body and quite a bit of distancing between the respective organizations.
- Theosophy - Madame Helena Blavatsky combined the esoteric knowledge of the east and west with her demonstrated supernormal powers to found this organization.
- ISKCON - Srila Prabuphad, with this radical re-interpretation of the Bhagavad Gita, created the Hare Krishna movement, which is still strong to this day.
- 3HO - Yogi Bhajan, taught a mix of Sikhism and Yoga, distinctive white dress with turbans which was a huge turn on to many hippies in the 70s.
There was no Buddhism prior to Shakyamuni's arrival
just think: some religions may have had long traditions when Buddhism first hit Planet Earth. But when he was here, you could evaluate him by his teaching and join up... even though there was no tradition...
it's so hard to accept something new that doesnt have a proven history. but I like Falun Dafa so much.... so much... even the pain it hits me with. weird. cool. whatever!
doomed schoolchildren
I taught public school briefly a few times. Each time, it was very apparent which children were doomed and which ones would succeed.
And of course, if you try and tell them they are doomed, what do they do? They scoff at you. Just as the people scoffed at Noah while he built his ark.
Now, which sort of person am I and whose school am I in right now?
2007-12-15
About particle emission
I've had a number of reactions of Heide's email to me. Now is the time to record them:
Heidi's comments
Hi Terrence,
I don't think by now I don't need to introduce myself again. I have read all your questions and concerns. Actually, many of us had many questions in the beginning, and we just kept reading Zhuan Falun and maybe at times discussed questions with practitioners in our area. But, most of the time we were told that we should continue reading Zhuan Falun and we suddenly would understand all questions we had. We were also told that we should not read to gain knowledge, as all what Mr. Li Hongzhi writes is actually meant more as a metaphor and taking in a greater context. We understand it in a certain context today, and tomorrow we might understand the same words differently.
It is just as when teachers teach a subject in school. They actually don't want you to memorize whatever you heard, but want you to understand that thought process and be able to apply what you had learned to different situations. The words are just examples of a theory.
We don't know if Mr. Li Hongzhi received a certificate, nor do we really care about such a minor issue. It is a matter of believing or not. It would be impossible for Mr. Hongzhi to sent proof of everything he said to all the millions of practitioners.
In spiritual practices one is told much and one either beliefs or not, understands the underlying reason for anything said, can apply what is being said to ones life and life by the principles promulgated by the practice.
I see the information below as something that tells me that there is much beyond what we thought about, beyond what we understood and beyond what we can proof. It tells me that my limited knowledge of the universe is restrained by what has been proven by our scientific community and to grow above the mere scientific proof.
I do not read to gain knowledge, but to open my mind to greater truths, even if I cannot at this time give proof of what I believe in.
Remember, many years ago, the scientific discoveries discussed below were not known as no such equipment existed.
If one practices a spiritual practice or religion, etc. one has to let go of the demand of proof and just believe.
Hope this helps.
Best
Heide
Reactions
- Heide referred to my question as a "minor issue" - I feel put down by this. It's almost like she's saying "boy what a stupid amateurish question." That hurts my feelings.
- I never ever read her sentence about how she read Master Li's delivery. That really is a different way to look at the whole matter!
- I've heard over and over that "proof is nothing but the analysis of belief" and
- Why did she say "nor do _we_ really care" ... it seems as if she is putting herself and her clique in one class and me another.
- In my opinion, not many people could do what Master Li did on that meter. It would be a way of setting him apart from others.
2007-12-14
Falun gong is good... as in hurts so good
My left side hurts... down near the waste. Up near the shoulder. I can barely bend over to do my shoes... it's all this lotus posture no doubt. Even walking hurts if I move a certain way.
But I like it. I know I'm getting somewhere. And so far the theory behind this Great Way is ... well... GREAT!!! Master Li Hongzhi truly has put and cherry on top of 20 years of spiritual wandering. This guy is good.
His books , his lectures , the results of my practice , and my dreams at night.
Press on I must.
2007-12-09
a wonderful transformation - healer to practitioner
I ran into Ben at Whole Foods today. It's amazing how he got into Falun Dafa. He was already an accomplished healer and could move illness out of people's bodies. But he realized that by healing them, he was simply giving them license to go out and re-attract the same karma that caused their illness in the first place.
So now he spreads the Fa and gives people the power to do what they should be doing.
2007-12-06
As above, so below?
I was burrowing towards a "the real me is not the body" perspective with furious intensity. Now, I am putting all my effort into Falun dafa. And Master Li Hongzhi has a truly material and human-body based spiritual teaching.
Not only that, but he is trumping all my learning in 20 years of spiritual study.
The real me is not the body
In reverse chronological order, I can list the systems that were emphasizing this perspective. In a way, I think I am damaging my Fa study by even putting my mind on these former systems. But I have to do this. It's kind of a shame. I first encountered Falun gong in 1993 and then in 2000 and now in 2007 I am stress-testing it: i am going to hammer on it until one of us breaks or one of us is enlightened. Just think how far towards his promised achievements I would be had I started 14 years ago... but truly, only now do I see how profound and keen his teaching is. And his teaching is not _his_ teaching: he makes it clear that Qigong is prehistoric culture.
It was only by former studies in Mental Science and Buddhism, as well as Tai Chi and Qi Gong that I can see how what he is teaching is a more complete offering. So, I should not regret those pursuits: I engaged in them with an open (but critical) mind. When I stress-tested them, they snapped in one way or the other for some reason or the other. But if anyone cracks during the Falun stress-test, it will be me, not Master Li or his system. He is a scientifically proven master of matter and the universe.
Anway, back to my pursuit on non-body realization:
- Audinometry
- Scientology - you are THETA, not a body and should not need bodies
- AHAM - the only that's real is this present moment, all else is conceptual. A favorite technique of Arunachala Ramana was the question "how do you know you have a body" - the reason he did this was an attempt to direct you towards pure attention
- Buddhism(s) - any concept of being a body is based on the skandhas (aggregates) and karma (buddhism has both good and bad).
- Fruitarianism - I never was an in-body natural hygiene type. I followed Klaus Wolfram primarily. A bit of Joshua Rainbow, but mainly I was a death to this world, death to this body type.
As above, so below...
Falun Dafa has as its primary goal the formation of an immortal human body. This is totally unlike everything else I was doing which was trying to reform myself as the things in the systems above.